Tuesday, August 13, 2013


Waking up with an aching body, reminder of an illness that still lingers on. Waking up to a harsh melody of the morning alarm echoing through the empty cavity of a structure i now call home. 

Waking up tired, with no sweet aftertaste of a half remembered dream. With no loving arms to indulge in, to steal a few precious moments for.

Hundred messages on the digital Palantír, awaiting, mocking. reminding that the race has already started without me. And its time for me to play 'catch-up', again!

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Standing alone in gariahat more. Rain and the lateness of the hour has transformed the otherwise crowded busy street, to a clean wet canvas. colors from evry illuminated surface melts onto the pitch black street. sodium vapor lamps flooding my night sky, setting the perfect backdrop for the millions of drops of rain... no crowd to push through, no cacophony of traffic to be disturbed by, no schedule to keep up with. i can just take off my glasses and look up. the yellow light blinding my eyes. the urban rain touching my face, making me feel so much a part of this city,

making me feel so lonely...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

no ending...

He feels like the last one of his kind. Or may be they left him out here isolated. Isolated not in space, but in time.May be they punished him. He can no longer see the beauty in this world. the universe of matter that ever so slightly shifts away. What people around him quote as "change" appears to be nothing but a unpleasant and monotonous ticking away of time. A clockwork of shifts, that never lead to anywhere in particular. A pace of life that's just dull fast, never evolving, hardly improving. yet ever transient. 
A swamp of time circling around us. waiting for the dead souls to decay...

His world, preaches that nothing means anything. Yet the fool, holds a belief in the faintest of corners of his heart, Everything is Something. Holds it close. Locked away. as if its a secret. Talk about it in anything more than a whisper .. and its lost forever
He feels lost in time. lost in the crowd of happy faces. lost about his purpose in life. perplexed by people's unwillingness to find theirs. Cant make sense out of the rules of the universe, inside and out.

He doesn't care about your conclusions. Keep them to yourself. Your name callings and occasional inappropriate medical jargon's are no longer impressive. He has seen the darkest corners of your heart. he has seen you lie he has seen you Cheat.He knows what you do when you think you can't get caught. You don't impress him anymore. He can afford to not care about what you have to say.

Probably that's why he is isolated. He feels sad. So sad that it aches .. sometimes!

 I guess he can never ask for help. he doesn't know how to. How do we let ourselves be open, without the fear of getting hurt. Where is the comfort of a warm hug that encourages to let go... am I really so pathetic? am i really so lonely? so  lost? wires tangled up so bad that I cant feel... But i can. It aches somewhere. somewhere inside. i dont know where. but alone in this corner, sometimes find it difficult to even breathe.
Theres no ending to this... It never goes away! it never goes awayyyyyy...

a symphony give me company. was it always there for me? waiting to be heard? am i really not alone after all? just separated by time... just isolated  by space?

dont want the music to end tonight... not till i can't feel anything any more...

Saturday, March 5, 2011

feathers in wind

Watched black swan in the theaters today.

and as i tried my best to make sense of what was being shown (and what is left to my imagination) i had this ever growing feeling. You would have been able to understand the movie. you would have aptly fathom its emotions. and may be properly appreciate it. i could have had a wonderful evening with you, watching the movie in theaters and then spent the evening dinner and the journey home, hearing you discuss about it.hear you critique.listen to you speaking

get mesmerized by your view of things...

         ... wish you were here. 

         ... wish you were now!

digital art by Ana Fagarazzi.
For any copyright issues please let me know & i'll be happy to remove the image.

Saturday, February 26, 2011